Imi place sa-mi cojesc crustele

 ...si sa imi mutilez fatza cautand cosuri imaginare. Probabil imi place sa fac acelasi lucru si cu sufletul meu, ca pe langa toate cacaturile de mi s au intamplat in ultimele 48 de ore, am mai prestat si despre "4 luni, 3 saptamani si 2 zile".

O radiografie cat se poate de cruda a unui avort. Nu e un film, e pur si simplu un reportaj, despre o femeie puternica, ale carei actiuni nu o imping la sinucidere sau mai bland, in cabinetul vre unui terapeut. Am plecat intrebandu-ma daca trebuie sa fii complet dobitoaca sau o super sfanta sa aranjezi lucrurile cu atat sange rece.

Dear Dawna,

    When I stumbled on your memorial page I wanted to cry instantly. Was too scared and shocked though to do it. You actually have a FUCKING memorial page. Like when one googles people they would expect to find a) nothing b) some college web page c) some embarassing party pictures. Not a fucking memorial page. And not some cheesy poems on a Mental Health Association page....

    You were one of the coolest persons I ever met. You were one of my only two friends from the US. You adopted me in your weird world, with candy-fights and mock LSD. And I remembered recently that on your mirror it was written "nobody knows I am on Prozac". AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A DAMN GOOD JOKE.

I remember your large jeans, your pink transylvania t shirt and your red hair. That you once died black. With a marker. Because you wanted to. And the coke-can-ring necklace. Or beer. And your scream that woke up the whole neighbourhood, when I dragged my tired body to the highschool. And our song, the plans for our song you FUCKED UP BITCH, HOW COULD YOU HAVE DONE THAT?????? What about our song, what about the "are you dead yet, Banana???". And the UV lamp in your closet to breed pot plants. And the five cigarettes you gave me, when I was forbiden to smoke at home. And your water bed. And your wicked smile and your frown. And the day you played "Greensleaves" for me, like it was nothing. And your image that you're a looser, when in fact everybody knew you were briliant. Your ease to learn...
    And then I left. I think I never used your e-mail address. You called me at wicked hours, on the other continent. Told me you skipped highschool and went on to become a secretary. That you were still doing your crazy things, I remember just the "I slept around with a bunch of people. I don't know them".

     But yeah, you were not human after all, you could break an egg in your left hand when there was "striking scientific evidence that humans cannot do that".  And I never thought you had a problem. Other then of course, you were crazy, but crazy in a funny way. In an extreme, childish and charming way. Why honey, why baby, why, you fucking fucking slut? Now I don't know weather to love you or hate you. Or to admire you. What have they done to you? Truly now, what have they done to your song, honey? You were so brave, and marching so high.....

    I hope you are happy and have your rock band. And they let you paint on the mirror. And cut your hair by yourself. And that sometimes you are bored and look down.

 

Love, A.

Grey boundaries

    Sau Grisons, sau Graubünden. Plecand din Basel nu cred ca puteam ajunge mai departe in Elvetia. Ultimele mele trei zile de vacanta le am petrecut in cel mai intins canton, pe o vreme superba (cred ca meritam in sfarshit sa ma mai scuteasca norul negru care ma urmareshte prin Europa de asta primavara) si cu subiectele perfecte pentru a o testa pe Felicia :D. Felicia fiind noua mea prietena, pe numele ei de familie Canon 400D. Sa traisca deci primul meul SLR (in romana ar fi deci Felix :D). Cred ca blogul asta se va transforma in fotoblog :). Dupa ce am injurat doua zile (e prea verdeeeeeeeeeeee; e prea galben; cerul nu e albastru, e supra expus, nu e clar, nu e destul de verdeeeeeeee, destul de sepia, flashul nu e reglabil, cum adica la un SLR nu poti face preview in lcd???????? - asta ultima din categoria sunt fotograf amator wanna be dar ma tratez) ca vorba aia, aveam manualul, dar cine a avut  rabdare sa il citeasca :D, 48 de ore zic si 800 de poze mai tarziu am ajuns la concluzia ca astia de la Canon nu sunt chiar proshti, si se pare ca au facut o treaba destul de buna.

    Si  voila quoi, am avut trei zile intr o realitate paralela, cu mancare care se face singura, camera care se curatza singura si hartie de buda care se inlocuieste - miraculos - singura, plus major hiking sessions pe trasee mai mult sau mai putin marcate (hmmmm, uite o poteca de capre negre care da intr un culoar de avalansa, hai sa vedem ce e sus). Jetzt isch fertig lustig, cum zic astia. Back in the game si no more funny business pana pe la Craciun.